In memory of Oscar

I know that my last post rang with a (false) optimism that I would post more often as well as try to diversify my blog. That was all before my cat got sick. Oscar, who I have written about before, had been struggling with fatty liver disease since early December. He had lost several pounds and could not be coaxed to eat or drink. After several different treatments (we did not know it was fatty liver disease at first), we were left with the final option of putting in a stomach tube. Since Oscar had FIV our vet only gave him a 40% chance of survival. Knowing what a fighter Oscar was (he had previously recovered from a severe gunshot wound) we decided to give him this chance. He was doing well the first day after surgery and we were hopeful. However, on Thursday, January 4th he went into shock and could not recover. We had to put him to sleep.
So, needless to say, I have been very preoccupied. I have never lost a pet before and anyone who knows me knows that my pets are like my children. Slowly, I’m starting to feel a bit better, my brain has begun to de-fuzz somewhat. But then there are other times that I am so overcome with grief that I feel like I’ve been hit in the chest. I look forward to the time that I can look back on only the fond memories of my sweet little boy kitty, but right now all I can remember is the pain and the sorrow I feel.
Everyone tells me I am a great pet parent and that Oscar was lucky to have such a caring home. But I wish I could have save him…and it was just out of my control. I miss my Oscar.
I just felt the need to share. Not everyone understands how I am feeling now. Some people have been great and supportive (my friend Sarah and my husband Micah)…but I’m just taking it day by day.
In other news, I have been cooking and doing other things. I will try to post about them soon.

The picture above is what I imagine Oscar's dreams to be...60 ft tall and pillaging small towns.